There was a time, not so long ago, as tribes, we knew the value, the necessity of supporting our young tribe members to engage in a ritual or ceremony acknowledging their stage of life.

This time came when as their tribe we recognized the signs of yearning, aching, restlessness, readiness, and desire for autonomy, responsibility, and contribution. They were invited, called, into the wild lands to quest, seek, and ache for guidance, for the vision of their true nature, their soul’s song, gift, and purpose.

Upon their return, we welcomed them home, acknowledged their ordeals, and listened carefully to the collective wisdom they had received.  As elders and their community, we reflected and offered our understanding of their unique gifts they have come into the world with and had been shown on their solo time on the land. We welcomed them home as contributing, whole, and valued members of the tribe.

Preparatory Individual Hui: Women interested in participating will be invited to join us for a one-on-one get-together to answer any questions, see if this program is a good fit, and get to know us a little before meeting in person with a group of people. The meetings will be via Zoom. Following the one on ones, we will meet again online as a group for reintroduction before meeting in person.

The purpose for this 8-day program/ceremony is to re-vision this precious and sacred process to align with our contemporary world. To support young women coming of age, to be seen, heard, acknowledged, and supported, to step into what is and has always been their ecological and soulful truth for them. Many of these women will have already encountered and experienced initiatory ordeals but were never fully welcomed home and supported.

This program is to welcome those young women back and hear their ordeals, their gifts, wisdom, and knowledge in preparation to take their gifts into the world.

The Structure: On the morning of the 20th The young women and their caretaker/s meet in Upper Hutt for a farewell circle and meal before we depart for Holdsworth Lodge after lunch.

The young women are supported to set up their base camp and prepare to settle in for the first 3 days of individuation, separation, and intention setting. This is followed by a threshold of 2 nights of solo fasting on the land as they quest for guidance and knowing. Upon returning from their threshold experience they will be supported for two days of welcoming, listening, witnessing, and integrating. On the 2nd day of Integration, we hike an easy 4 hours to another lodge for the night where we support their preparation for the return home.

On the eighth day, we leave the Forest and meet the parents/caretakers for a welcome ceremony and late lunch back in Upper Hutt.

Their caretaker/s are invited back for the final afternoon. As part of the integration process, there will be guidance and invitations for creativity through, poetry, story, clay art, song, dance etc….

Follow up: The participants will be invited to join online throughout the next year for 6 group meetings to support ongoing support, connection, and integration. In December 2025 we will meet again as a group for a day and night in Upper Hutt to reconnect, remember, and prepare for the next year of their life’s journey.

The specific lineage-holders of knowledge that this training takes particular inspiration from are: Dave Talamo with Wilderness Reflections; Steve Foster and Meredith Little with The School of Lost Borders; Joanna Macy with The Work that Reconnects; Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication, Jon Young with Wilderness Awareness School; Bill Plotkin and the Animus Valley Institute; Ron Kurtz and Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy, and S.N Goenka with the Vipassana Meditation Centre.

What we provide: Accommodation, meals, (gluten-free plant-based), tents if needed, hot showers, composting toilets, guidance, support, and supportive company.

What participants provide: Tents and other camping equipment (list provided upon registration), sense of humor, humility, and openness.

Rites of Passage Main Guides:

Toni McErlane – Ecotherapist, Counsellor, Mediator, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Facilitator, Aunt

Holly Bracknall – Ecotherapist, Rites Of Passage Guide

This Program is Fully Funded and limited to 8 female participants ages 15 to 21 years of age.

Please contact toni@restorativerelationships.co.nz   for application info