Testimonials
Two years ago my husband Cris and I were about to break up. We contracted Toni for a three and a half day intensive session. She taught us the basics of Non Violent Communication and then helped us use that framework to address issues that had seemed insurmountable prior to the session.
The most important thing Toni did for us was to help us work in partnership to resolve our issues and to avoid us blaming each other for the dysfunction. She encouraged us to both take responsibility for our emotional reactions. Her ability to remain neutral in our issues, but still connect fully with each of us was inspiring.
Toni also taught us how to sit in a position of empathy, listening fully and showing that we had heard the other person’s feelings and needs. This is such a valuable skill to have learnt, because so much dysfunction stems from each person not feeling heard.
Toni is incredibly perceptive and notices subtleties in language, facial expression and posture that are very important for resolving issues. She sometimes picked up on things that we might be feeling before we were aware of them.
Toni’s gentle, perceptive manner enabled us to both be completely honest and to show where we were most vulnerable. She was expert at gently keeping us focussed on the relevant topic, and making sure we took responsibility with our use of language, not resorting to any blaming, name calling or personal evaluations that would undermine what we were trying to achieve.
I can confidently say that without Toni’s exceptional skill and care we would not have stayed together as we did not have the skill to navigate the complicated situation we found ourselves in. She saved our marriage and taught us enough skills that we are able to resolve things ourselves now, in a quiet, more connected way.
NVC with Toni was very, very valuable. It offered a rare combination of depth and simplicity that has greatly enhanced how I think about and deal with challenging situations with the young people I work with. Thinking of what is going on in terms of strategies to meet needs means that I feel more comfortable rejecting the analysis and negative narratives often given to young people and their families, as I have a solid framework to understand things from that aligns with how I had been thinking- the course has helped me to feel more resilient and legitimate as the way I thought has been validated and expanded upon.
On a more practical level the course was fabulous for teaching ways of practising and living NVC- it moved NVC from being an idea to being a way to live and offered useful skills to navigate difficult situations/conversations. The space it offered for self-awareness and practising empathy really grounded me in the importance of my own daily practises and situating myself as well as questioning my actions to better understand why I think X is or is not a good idea. Doing this course has made me a much more conscious practitioner, it has given me a way of thinking and practising and has really opened a lot of possibility. I also really loved getting to know my colleagues more and deepening our relationships. Would fully encourage anyone who has the opportunity to learn from Toni to do so.
I have a greater understanding of NVC by Toni’s leading of the group . I really enjoyed how she explained the principles of each subject and then we had practical interactions of that learning as well as take home information.
NVC is a great investment and feel I can continue to take it to both my personal life and work practice.
I would be interested in learning more I found the NVC training to be invaluable it has helped me have a better understanding of people. This is in regards to their needs and feelings and how to work out strategies to get their needs met.
What I have also noticed is that with this new knowledge it has made me be more reflective, this allows me to put a pause button on myself to think about what is going on with this person and to be more mindful.
This is a tool that with time and practice will allow my practice grow with positive outcomes for the clients I work with. I am also having great results with my teenage son and other personal relationships because of this training. I would thoroughly recommend anyone to do this course on it.
I found the NVC training to be invaluable it has helped me have a better understanding of people. This is in regards to their needs and feelings and how to work out strategies to get their needs met.
What I have also noticed is that with this new knowledge it has made me be more reflective, this allows me to put a pause button on myself to think about what is going on with this person and to be more mindful.
This is a tool that with time and practice will allow my practice grow with positive outcomes for the clients I work with. I am also having great results with my teenage son and other personal relationships because of this training. I would thoroughly recommend anyone to do this course.
Right from the beginning I observed and then continued to note the gift of Toni McErlane, first she is totally professional and lives , breathes, models all of what she offered in her facilitating these workshops. Down to earth language was a gift, for me at least, in her teaching and sharing of her journey of becoming a facilitator for her NVC Training and which she shares is still ongoing.
This training has certainly opened my eyes to new understandings, renewing of some and working with my colleagues who became really quiet open and baring their all in some sessions was awe inspiring. More so because this time I know will help me more in my professional practice but as well in my own personal and Whanau life as well.
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